Meet The New Correctional Officer

Indonesia’s anti-drug czar, Budi Waseso, announced this month, his recommendation for building a prison on an island with a prison staff of crocodiles. Don’t laugh, let us consider his explanation. Mr. Waseso said correctly, ” You cannot bribe crocodiles…You can’t convince crocodiles to let inmates escape.”

The Guardian reported that Mr. Waseso also stated, “I will search for the most ferocious type of crocodile…”We will place as many crocodiles as we can there.”

It is hard to imagine the notorious “El Chapo,”Joaquín  Guzmán, who engineered his infamous escape from Mexico’s maximum security prison, Altiplano Federal Penitentiary, bribing his crocodile guards. David Sweat and Richard Matt would not be able to charm any crocodile as both did with a civilian worker in the Clinton Correctional Facility in upstate New York..

It is true that most prisons are not on islands, but the simple solution to that problem is the medieval moat. In terms of the savings for any Department of Corrections, the department would not have to pay salaries or buy uniforms for the crocodiles. It is almost certain that the crocodiles would not form a union.

On the other hand, perhaps the incorruptible crocodiles  would accept prison food as bribes from the  inmates. If you have ever tasted prison food, you would know  scenario is not going to happen. So, congrats to the Indonesian prison czar for his creative thinking.

By: Bradley Schwartz
Founder of prisonpath.com